"Say Thank-you" said Maya to Oprah!

"Say Thank-you" said Maya to Oprah!" I was on the phone with Maya Angelou, sitting in my bathroom with the door closed & the toilet lid down, weeping so uncontrollably that i was... Read More

"Say Thank-you" said Maya to Oprah!

" I was on the phone with Maya Angelou, sitting in my bathroom with the door closed & the toilet lid down, weeping so uncontrollably that i was incoherent!

"Stop it!" Maya chided. "Stop it right now & say Thank-You!"

"But you-- you don't understand" i sobbed. To this day, i cant remember what it was that had me so far gone, which only proves the point Maya was trying to make.

"i do understand" she told me. "I want to hear you say it now. Out Loud. 'Thank You'"

Tentatively, i repeated it : "Thank you" and then snuffled some more. "But what am i saying Thank-You for?"

"you're saying Thank-you" Maya said, "because your faith is so strong that you don't doubt that whatever the problem, you'll get through it. You're saying Thank-you because you know that even in the eye of the storm , God has put a rainbow in the clouds. you're saying thank you because you know theres no problem created that can compare to the creator of all things. Say Thank You!"

so i did-and still do."

citation:

Oprah Winfrey, O.W. (2014). What I Know for Sure. USA. Flatiron Books.page 78

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The Neglect & Early Childhood Abuse

The neglect & early childhood abuse that can accompany complex PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) are not associated with secure attachment.years of research conducted by Dr. John Bowlby &... Read More

The neglect & early childhood abuse that can accompany complex PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) are not associated with secure attachment.

years of research conducted by Dr. John Bowlby & Dr. Mary Ainsworth, identify patterns of insecure and anxious attachments:

* Insecure Ambivalent: a child who has grown up with an inconsistent caregiver, who is at times highly supportive, loving and caring and at times, invasive and uninviting! no predictable attunement was available to the child, hence develops anxiety and a sense of insecurity! grows up to become overly dependent and suffer from abandonment anxiety and believes that relationships are unreliable and insecure zones!

* Insecure Avoidant: growing up with a distant or disengaged caregiver who is repeatedly emotionally unavailable and rejecting. hence as a result and in an attempt to avoid estimated emotional pain, the child adapts by avoiding closeness, disconnecting emotionally or becoming overly self reliant. they even dismiss their own and other ppls emotions and arent comfortable handling partners longing more intimate connection.

* Disorganized: the most disturbing attachment context due to a child growing up with a caregiver who's behavior is overwhelming, chaotic and/or abusive; where the child is abused physically, verbally or emotionally! a paradox is created b/w pain and love! closeness to the source of terror! disorganized adults tend to rely on impulsive/ aggressive behaviors to manage uncomfortable emotions! and they mimic the same abuse they experienced during childhood. they either turn out to be abusive, or choose abusive partners!

complex PTSD is associated with all of these attachment styles.

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